#253 : Cinema: Few are watching

NOW SHOWING

WATCHMEN
Directed by Zack Snyder
Starring Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup, Matthew Goode, Carla Gugino, Jackie Earle Haley, Stephen McHattie, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Patrick Wilson

FROM the perspective of the graphic novel which it is adapted from, the sci-fi/fantasy/superhero feature Watchmen is not that bad at all.It has all the right elements to make it such a spectacular visual feast.The action scenes are stylishly done and the visuals rich and captivating.Even the whole apocalyptic theme, with its multi-layered treatment of xenophobia, paranoia and political parody of current affairs, is effectively executed.But this is as good as it gets. For the most part, it’s one boring ride.

Yes, for two hours and 43 minutes, there are only a few scenes that make you sit up and take notice, namely, the opening scene and Jon Osterman (Billy Crudup) transforming into the glowing blue CGI (computer-generated image) figure known as Dr Manhattan.

For the rest of the time, unfortunately, it’s easy to sink deep in your comfortable velvety seat and doze off as the masked vigilante narrator Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley) drones on about heavy philosophical stuff.

The story takes the viewers back and forth in time, which is confusing at best. And the only thing they learn from the Watchmen, a team of six crime-fighting friends, is how sad their lives are.

Instead of focusing on their mission to save the world, the movie is more intent on psycho-analysing the “super-heroes” (even though only one of them has superhuman powers).

As a result, the movie leaves you mentally exhausted. You learn about the characters’ past and present struggles, their inner demons, their once glamorous lives and now tragic tribulations, their sad love stories and the conflicts of others you don’t really care about.

If that’s not enough, you’ll also learn about their predecessors too — how some of the Watchmen are related to the previous legion of masked heroes.

Yes, there’s family connections here and there, and enough intrigue to rival any telenovela.

For those expecting a fast-paced action/sci-fi thriller, you’re in for one big disappointment.

Told in the format of a comic book — think the TV series Heroes — the movie drags on and on with unnecessary plots and subplots.

Halfway into the movie, the person seated next to me seemed to be having more fun in dreamland. And when you walk out of the cinema, it’s not hard to pick up disappointed looks on people’s faces, especially big-time fans of the graphic novel.

So I guess you know the sad truth behind the promotional movie tagline: “Who’s watching the Watchmen?”